We’re one week away from The Big Show – the 2011 Canada Reads showdown. From a public-selected mass of titles emerged five finalists: The Best Laid Plans, by Terry Fallis; Unless, by Carol Shields; The Birth House, by Ami McKay; Essex County, by Jeff Lemire; and of course, The Bone Cage, by NeWest’s own Angie Abdou.

Naturally, our hopes and dreams rest with Angie’s book about two hopeful Olympians in the run up to the 2000 Olympic Summer Games in Sydney, Australia. However, in the interest of fairness we’ve decided to provide a public service by telling you, our faithful readers, exactly why we believe The Bone Cage is 2011’s Canada Reads Champion.

1. Canadians Are Natural Born Athletes.

            The frigid northern temperatures require the exertion of so much energy to stay warm that Canadians across the board have developed athletic skills beyond those of our southern neighbours. From shovelling walkways and drives to the hoisting of Double Doubles with rhythmic tenacity, Canadians are truly an active people.

2. Political Satire Is Passé.

            Terry Fallis is one heck of a funny guy, but our leaders need no help –parliament is plenty laughable already.

3. The 2010 Olympic Winter Games

            The 2010 games in Vancouver were a national event. We showed the world just how dedicated, hard working and fearless Canadian athletes really are. We also showed the world that it is entirely possible to host a Winter Games without real snow – a feat in and of itself!

4. Birth Houses Are SO World War 1.

            Nova Scotia in the early 1900’s. They had a road. And a house. Possibly witches.

5. An Enforcer With A Brain.

            Debbie Travis knows how to make a room pretty, Lorne Cardinal’s a funny guy, Sara Quin’s got the musical chops and Ali Velshi can talk up a political storm, but can any of them say they’ve spent more than a decade knocking out teeth in the NHL and followed it up with a career as a Deputy Leader for the Green Party? With Georges Laraque, we’ve got talent, brains, and brawn on our side!

6. Essex County Just Doesn’t Cut It

            A beautifully drawn graphic novel with football as one of the book’s central themes. Who are they trying to kid? No one in this country cares about foo– wait, it’s about hockey? … Crap.

7. Angie Abdou

            Seriously, have you people even been paying attention? This woman is making the rounds, crossing the country and showing at events to meet readers and talk about her work – and all while balancing being a full-time mom and a university professor who’s just finished her PhD. I’d like to see anyone else out there match this woman’s endurance!

8. Unless Is So Beautiful It Will Break Your Heart

            And this close to Valentine’s Day, who wants that?

9. Because You Don’t Need To Be An Olympic Hopeful To Have Dreams

            The passion Angie’s characters exude is something very real, very human. Digger and Sadie may be athletes of a calibre few will ever reach, but their passion and the intensity to which they pursue their goals is transferable to anyone with dreams and aspirations, regardless of their medium.

10. High Sodium Content

            The Bone Cage is a salty book – literally. There’s enough sweat on these pages to make you think you’ve kept your New Year’s resolution to hit the gym five days a week. You want to be an athlete? It’s 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration!

The CBC Canada Reads competition kicks into high gear on Monday, February 7 and ends on Wednesday, February 9, when the victor will be revealed. So listen, learn and vote, Canada!